Dealing with Rejection




Dear Daughters,

Too many people let disappointments bring them down or discourage them from moving forward. What you need to understand is that your attitude and, more importantly, what you do to prepare before you make your approach will strongly affect the outcome. And your tactic, while being a function of your efforts, is still a variable that can be worked on to improve your end result. Knowing that, you shouldn’t feel incompetent or not good enough.

Instead, you should be motivated to study your approach, separate your areas of difficulty and work on improving your attempts for next time. Visualize being on your first interview or date, things may not go as well as arranged, but with every new experience, you start to form a better understanding of the dynamics of interviewing or dating and with time you will become much more nimble and effective. But to get to that level, you have to keep a positive attitude and stay persistent no matter what.

Allow yourself the gift of rejection and don’t take it personally. And when you’re faced with rejection, ask yourself if you didn’t do as well as you could have due to a lacking approach or if it was just that the person or opportunity wasn’t a mutual fit. Work on the former and accept the latter, but don’t get into the habit of attaching failures to issues of fit.


Don’t let rejection get you down. Remember these five lessons:

  1. You are a good, worthy person
    A rejection doesn’t mean you are a failure. It doesn’t mean you are unworthy or unlovable. In fact, it might only have to do with a very small part of you, such as a single decision. Consider, too, the person who rejected you. Their choice could have more to do with them than you.
  2. Notice your self-talk
    Notice how you’re talking to yourself. Are you blaming yourself? Pause, reflect, and reason. Think of times you have done well at things. This could be successful relationships or special talents.
  3. “This too shall pass”
    You may feel terrible now. Know that your intense feelings will fade with time. In a week, month or year, this rejection may not be as important.
  4. Evaluate and plan
    Rejection can feel like a huge blow in the moment, but in reality, it may not matter in the end. Think about the bigger picture. Are there other ways to get what you want/need? Can you learn something from the rejection?
  5. Experience the feeling. Then move on.
    Scientists have found that our brains react to emotional pain the same way we feel physical pain. It hurts! And you’ll likely be “sore” for a while. To help with your healing, you might try setting a deadline for being upset. Give yourself a few days. Tell yourself you can feel as lousy as you want until then. And then, for example, after 5 p.m. on Tuesday, you’ll resolve to move on.

I hope this was helpful

As always ,

Love  Mom

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